Earlier this week I stumbled upon a Top 10 Wine Movies of All-Time list. I love lists! Put anything in list form and I’ll probably read it. Sure I’ll mumble to myself about how I would have ranked the Top 5 Gatorade Flavors differently. And I’ll wonder how could you possibly leave Taco Bell off your Top 10 Fast Food Places list, but that’s why lists are so great. So it got me thinking…. what are the funniest moments that involved wine in comedies?1 After exhaustive research,2 here are 4 arbitrarily ranked wine moments that made me laugh.
I can relate to Wayne in this scene. Sometimes I find myself in a wine discussion that is a little over my head. For the most part I just smile and nod and say, “I never thought of it that way." I may have to try Wayne's strategy in the future though. “Ah, yes. It’s a lot like how ‘taco cat’ is a palindrome.” On second thought, maybe not.
People seem to view Will Ferrell as pretty hit or miss. For every comedy gem (Anchorman) there are just as many lumps of comedy coal (Semi-Pro). However, I am not one of those people because Will Ferrell seems to be able to turn me into a giggling 12 year old schoolgirl no matter what he does. 60% of the time, Will Ferrell is hilarious every time.
In Step-Brothers, Will Ferrell demands to take the lead on the fictitious Catalina Wine Mixer in an attempt to prove to his brother that he isn’t a screw-up. Since 1997, the Catalina Wine Mixer is the biggest helicopter-leasing event in the western hemisphere. It’s kind of a big deal. Inevitably the wine mixer goes south and its up to Will Ferrell and his step-brother (John C. Reilly) to bring the event home with their rendition of Por Ti Volare. It’s a beautiful scene filled with the reconnection of once-lovers, lumberjacks, and Minotaurs. What else would you expect from the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer?
In fact, I pitched a similar helicopter-leasing event idea to Jay and Greg. They have yet to respond to my e-mails.
PEPSI > WINE - SEINFELD
George Costanza may be my favorite character in television history. The fact that Jason Alexander never won an Emmy for his portrayal of George is more criminal than Aaron Hernandez.3
The group is headed to a dinner party, so Jerry and Elaine suggest they bring gifts in order to uphold social mores. Obviously, George is appalled by the thought of having to spend $30 on wine and babka and proposes they bring Pepsi and RingDings instead. Now any right-minded person realizes that Pepsi is nowhere near as good as wine (especially Uproot wine!), but to be fair to George, Pepsi and RingDings ARE a pretty delicious combination.4
So the rest of the episode plays out with Elaine getting her toe nearly severed by a man with a cane, Jerry vomiting for the first time since June 29, 1980, George selling his Gore-Tex coat to pay for breaking a case of wine, and Kramer getting double parked by Saddam Hussein. Hmmmm … maybe George was right all along.